7 Reasons Your Mouth Matters

Do words sometimes roll out of your mouth and you wonder where in the world they came from? Have you ever said something that deeply hurt someone else but you can’t understand why? Do you lose all your word-filters when emotions flush through your body? Do you believe others should rather read your heart than take things you say literally? If you’ve answered yes to any of these, let’s talk.

WHY DO THE WORDS OF YOUR MOUTH MATTER?

We all have blind spots, and a big one is to live as if what you say and how you say it doesn’t matter. You can always go back and change what you said, retract your words, ask forgiveness, or cover it up with nice words, right? Wrong. You are so wrong. Forgiveness is possible, but words once spoken live on wherever they are welcomed and allowed to.

Words are carriers of explosive power that can be compared to a steering mechanism of a huge ship, a little match that lights up an inferno, or a sword that strikes and wounds a human heart. Think about it, without lifting a finger, you can do all this with your words alone!

Each person is responsible for his or her words. That means that circumstances, pain, or even injustice does not give you permission to be reckless with what you say. It does not seem fair, but each one of us will have to give account of our words despite the circumstances in which they were spoken. Yes, you can use your own words any which way you like, but with consequences. Words spoken give life and growth to what they confess.

All words count—those spoken privately as well as publicly. Why do we think words spoken in private have no power? No matter where or to whom words are spoken, they form a habitation around you and follow you wherever you go. This is almost too hard to fathom, but words either have power or not, and they do. Creative power. Explosive power.

You can say whatever you’d like to say. You are free. You are also free to hurt others and offend God, if you so chose. It is even possible to say things that God set you free to say, but those same words could hurt others or your own testimony and calling in life. What to do then? Your freedom does not mean you discard all tact and wisdom. Some things are better left unsaid to different audiences, for instance children. Of course, there are things you’ll talk about with close friends and loved ones you’d never dream of saying to others. Just know that there are no free words, even if you are free. They all have power.

You can say whatever you want, however your inside can only be read by what is on the outside. Your words are an overflow of your heart, so it is a clear indication of what is inside. You are therefore known and identified by what you say. What you say, how you say it, and when you say it are colors in the paintbrush of your words. They paint a picture of who you are, directly reflecting what is inside your heart.

Once spoken, words seek the spot they were sent to influence. It may sound weird, but consider how someone else’s words can change the atmosphere. They can even get you to do and say stuff you’ve never thought of before. Your own heart and mind have to listen to your own words as well and are programmed to go from saying to hearing to doing. Long before you buy that new car, you talk about it, dream about it, and form a picture in your head. You haven’t even seen the car yet, but it exists in your mind. Similarly, your words create a path for your actions to follow, therefore they form a blueprint of your future. Powerful.

Everything has ears. Even plants, some say. It is scientifically inconclusive that talking to your plants matters, but it has been proven that they do respond to certain sound waves. So who knows? If that example does not move you, think about your house. Do the words spoken in your space create an atmosphere? How difficult is it to “clear the air” after a passionate disagreement? What happens when you play classical music in your home, country music, jazz, or party favorites from the seventies? Words are sound and sound creates a blueprint for what is to come.

THREE CULPRITS CAUSING DISTASTEFUL TALK

Habitually using words that can damage your reputation or other people’s hearts is quite possible. Habit is a strong force that functions without permission on the sole premise of previous use and acceptance. It takes effort and time to break them, but where there is a will, there is a way. Admitting you have a problem with a bad habit is usually the hard part—even impossible for some. Habits are also formed when you mindlessly become one with a culture that beckons you to become part of the pack—to embrace its acceptable practices.

I have recently moved back into my house after my kids rented our property for 18 months. I found myself turning to the bread basket when I wanted fruit, because in our visits with the kids, that’s where they kept their fruit. It is incredible how my mind was functioning independently from my conscious decisions. Scary! I’ve heard of seniors with complete memory loss who did not recognize their own children yet were able to follow the path of their routine walk of the last 30 years. Habits are our best friends that enable us to walk and talk simultaneously, yet can also easily lead us on the path of destruction.

When unacceptable words become part of everyday vernacular or power expressions when emotions flare up, it may be indicative of a deep-rooted heart issue. We all have dark spots in our hearts caused by past pain, bitterness, or discontent—harsh words seem right to express them properly when conversation stirs those weaknesses. For the words to change, the heart may need to be changed first. Healing and resolve is necessary when the mouth indicates unresolved pain.

I have been called out recently about this very issue. My mind frantically grasped for excuses for my choice of words, but they were all lame . . . lame excuses. The truth was that there are raw areas in my heart that found expression with unacceptable words. I felt justified in using them, because in my blind spot, pain gave permission to perversion. It does not. It reminded me though that, first of all, God wants to heal every hurt, and secondly, I needed self-control since life continues to inflict wounds that do not need a crutch but rather a touch from God. God is not finished with anyone of us yet!

In order to get people’s attention, we often resort to shock and awe. We want them to feel what we feel by drawing them into our emotional experience. It is so popular because it works so well! It is quite amazing how shocking words can create a stir or even drama when we are desperate for interaction. There is nothing wrong with it; it is a great skill to involve people in your story by carefully chosen words, yet it is not a disclaimer for crudeness. When you live for an audience of One as a follower of Christ, honoring God is paramount. What helps me in this regard is the resolve to use powerful words, not power-words.

I was the fourth child in my family with three older brothers. I learned from early on that in order to distinguish myself or get attention, I had to come up with something to top the shenanigans of three boys. I resorted to yelling, according to my dad. He said it sounded like a whistle in my throat. What can you expect? I had to have a defense and attention grabber when needed, and this one served me well. As I grew up though, I had to learn that while attention grabbers are key to any great interaction, not all of them are acceptable. The same is true with words.

SO . . .

• Does it even matter to you, or are you at peace with your use of words?

• Check your blind spots by asking a trusted person to judge your use of words.

• Decide to own your words; count them and don’t find excuses when they hurt others.

• Ask God to heal any unresolved anger or pain in your heart.

• Ask God to put a guard at your mouth; filter your words through the presence of God.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14 ESV

Follow this link to many great Scriptures about the WORDS OF YOUR MOUTH

https://www.openbible.info/topics/words_of_my_mouth

A FEW FOR THE ROAD:

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Psalm 141:3 ESV

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29 ESV

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Proverbs 18:21 ESV

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, Matthew 12:36 ESV

For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:37 ESV

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. Proverbs 21:23 ESV

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24 ESV

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 ESV

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. Proverbs 15:4 ESV

Photo: Hennie and I on vacation in Hawaii - how adorable is he?