The Book, The Journey.

What is one of the most significant surprises life has offered you?

For me, it definitely is that most things in life are a process as opposed to a destination.

When I was young, I went to school thinking I would graduate and be done. I was not. I thought I’d make friends that would last for life. They did not. I thought I’d work hard to achieve career goals and it would be set. They were not. I thought I’d get over my first heartbreak and it would be the last. It was not. And on, and on.

Journeys, roads we travel, places we go, and the people we meet are what give meaning to life and develop our character.

This realization struck me as depressing in the past, now I know the beauty of life is indeed in the process. As a matter of fact, life has very few destinations to celebrate: markers yes, but few destinations.

Being on a journey means we are alive; there is hope, new things to learn, and new territories to conquer. I’ve decided to embrace the process, quite an accomplishment for someone easily distracted with a small arsenal of patience. This decision didn’t come cheap—it cost time and a little more dying to selfish desires than I expected.

Writing this book turns out to be no different. It is a journey as well. Why am I surprised? I’ve had to embrace the fact that the book will be ready when the book is ready. No amount of stress changes anything. Each day is new and fresh, offering room to work hard, staying in tune with what God wants and doing the best I can to make progress. It is a miracle that I have not entirely lost interest, for that happens to me real fast when the road gets tedious. This has been an eventful trail I have learned to embrace and love. It was an emotional roller coaster ride, yet one of the greatest privileges in my life to have the time and support to fulfill this assignment.

When I started out it was God and me. Only God knew what was living in my heart, and that was enough for me. He gave me a dream that died several deaths, but in fact, came back stronger when the time was right. One last miraculous encounter with God two years ago left zero doubt it was God, it was His time. Not writing this book would have been disobedience.

There is a time every dream is alive in the shadows only.

Moving it out of the shadows exposes it to resistance and obstacles, requiring the support of others. Hennie was the next one on board, which was the first miracle in seeing the book come to life. If my husband is not internally motivated, nothing moves him. Well, his love for me moves him, but only so far! I recognized his support as an act of God since it took long days, months, and over a year to make it happen—time he really wanted to spend with me alone.

This is only a book, a story, void of power to change anyone, yet written to make a difference in the life of the reader because it tells about the miraculous power of God. It is a story of pain, courage, and miracles: our story—one I wish with all my heart was not ours. But it is.

Someone has to tell on God and why not me.

Hennie is not one to ever revisit past pain or past anything, for that matter. It may be because too much pain has been felt in his past, which is also in the book. He lives for the moment, moving on to the next thing, the next day, the next season. If only it could be that easy for me! Why, oh why, are we so different? Because two of any one of us living together would have proven disastrous! That is exactly why. Our differences need to be tempered, and boy, did that ever happen!

Here are some excerpts from different parts of the book I believe will encourage you and give you a glimpse of what the book is about. The storyline in the book is strong, but I’ll save that part for your reading pleasure later on.

WHY DID I WRITE THIS BOOK?

Statistics confirm that 70 percent of people go through at least one traumatic experience in a lifetime; 20 percent never fully recover. At any given time, 13 million people in America alone suffer negative after-effects from life-changing or life-altering trauma. Sadly, I am not convinced that the numbers are any different for Christ followers. To make matters worse, I believe symptoms of the lingering effects of pain such as flashbacks, nightmares, anger, mistrust, fear, negativity, isolation and the like are not always recognized. Even when they are, chemical intervention becomes the norm instead of real heart healing by the power of God through Jesus Christ. Medicine is a godsend, and I thank God for medication, but it is a feeble replacement for a touch from heaven.

This is why I wrote this book: I believe there is hope and help after life disappoints and disaster burns up your dreams. There is a well of healing from which to drink where everyone is welcome and no sorrow is too great.

Even if your pain is private, I want to invite you who hurt to step up one more time and see what is beyond the mountain in front of you.

There is light in what seems dark, life for what has seemingly died, and hope when everyone else has given up.

WHY THIRTY YEARS AFTER THE FACT?

This is one of the questions that grew in prominence the closer I came to the end of the writing process. As the seasons following the accident came and went, so did the feasibility of writing what was becoming an old story—at least that’s what I thought. Turned out the story was not old after all; rather, His story for us became all the more relevant as life went on. It made us stronger and wiser, providing evidence of how God brings beauty from ashes—over and over again.

Living unbroken after life has broken parts of you becomes the challenge for the future.

Wounds of past pain carry the seed of future limitations and destruction, so they deserve to be addressed.

When nothing in life makes sense, finding encouragement for a day or so is one thing, but staying in faith for the long haul while holding on to the lesson learned in the valley is quite another.

WHY DID HENNIE NOT WRITE THE BOOK?

He should be the one writing this book to tell his side of the story! You have probably wondered about that by now. Why isn’t he? Simply put, it’s not in his nature, nor his desire or conviction to revisit past pain. Maybe it’s too much for him to deal with; maybe someday he will, I don’t know. We talk about it frequently, since I do believe he has so much to give and so much to say, but for now, he does everything in his power to encourage me in our assignment to tell the story. As long as he does not have to sit down for months on end, recalling, reminiscing or figuring out the details of the past, he is content. Writing an autobiography is just not him. It’s not in his nature to look back.

My husband is, however, programmed to stand strong and keep moving, while pulling up others who are suffering around him. Do not expect him to linger longer than one moment with you in your pain either. He has a tender heart filled with empathy, yet he does not linger long before guiding you in the way out in very simple terms.

I’ve often said that if I ever have to be in a foxhole, the only person in the world I would want to be with is my husband. He refuses to camp there, even when I think it’s a good idea every now and then to do exactly that. In the heat of the battle, I may think it’s time to take a breath, but I’ll look around only to find I’m all alone with Hennie way ahead in the distance. When I’m worn out, he keeps going. He is, of course, passionate about the many miracles God has done for him, ready to talk about them with great ease if need be—but only to give the listener a glimpse of God’s power to help him keep going.

He has no residual fear, torment or any kind of negative after-effects whatsoever from the traumas in his life. If he had, he’d probably give up and die because he’s had more painful experiences than most anyone could endure. He may have some scars as a result of tough times, but no angst or hang-ups as might be expected. As a matter of fact, he is the stronger for his trial.

If you should ask him why he’ll tell you he learned the power of praise in times of unbearable pain early in life. Too early.

He has a powerful testimony of how God infused power into his life through praising God in the midst of the deepest valley. As mentioned in previous chapters, He had been through deep waters even before the burning flames.

SUPERNATURALLY UNBROKEN

We fell, but we got up again. We were broken, but we experienced healing. We faced setbacks, but we kept walking. We felt joy, and we savored the moments. We encountered love, and we embraced it.

We received favor, and we saw Jesus.

Reading this book will not do all of this for you; after all, it’s just a book. There is no magic formula; it’s just our story. However, ours is an account of the supernatural overarching sovereign providence of God that turned our mourning into dancing. He wants to do the same for you. You can dance again, too. You can live unbroken again as well. Yes, you can. I believe you can.

THE FIGHT

Fighting and aggression are not really in my natural DNA, but hell and high water have caused me to run to the God who trains my hands for battle. Yes, He still is training me. Life offers obstacles, even taunting giants threaten to render us depressed, anxious, and angry. God wants to be our Commander-in-Chief as we engage in the war against our Enemy. Early in my life, I learned about the armor of God, including the sword of the Spirit. I envisioned this beautiful, huge, shiny, sharp and sexy sword, but when the fight got real, blood was found all over it. Enemy blood.

There are times to sit peacefully and shine our swords, but only to be ready to fight through hell to get to the success God has set aside for those who serve Him.

Blood on my sword, blood on my hands, wounded at times, weak and weary in some seasons, but with tenacious fierce faith, I continue to fight to win! I often do not feel like fighting, but I am glad I have God to give me the courage to pull myself up by my own bootstraps and take the land!

Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. (Psalm 144:1 NIV)

PLEASE STAND UP

God knows what He is doing. Stand up one more time. Step out one more time. Don’t look back, but fix your eyes on what is ahead. If your destiny is still beyond the river, let’s go! You have all it takes to keep going and see God fight for you as you stay in faith and act like one who is not alone. Giants may be in front of you, but God is beside you. Don’t settle. Never settle. God is much too big for you to keep living in pain or regret.

It’s not too late.

The time has come.

HAPPY EVER AFTER IS NOT A GIVEN

I have found that when all is said and done, after a long day in the trenches, you are all alone when you lay down your head at night. Alone with God. Alone in your response to your circumstances.

When all the noise is gone, each one of us has to take responsibility for our response to pain.

Hennie and I had to stay in unity in the fight, yet we were very diverse in how we dealt with it—during the trauma, as well as in the aftermath. How did he cope with the aftermath of this tragedy? I’m so glad you asked!

After all, can you see how this book is about you?